Notes with Bella and the Cullens
by Swagcat
Summary: random arguments between the Cullen family. Who knew one little piece of paper and some pens could cause so much trouble? and not to mention fun. Second fanfic the other one's Finally finished R&R please!.
1. excuses

**A/n second fanfiction I hope you guys like it as much as you liked what I have done on the first one so far! (My other one is called a part of Victoria's coven and as of this moment I only have 2 chapters posted and I have to wait for my English teacher to give my notebook back so I can post the 3rd chapter on it)**  
**Disclaimer: alas, I do not own Twilight, the great and noble Stephenie Meyer does.**

**Chapter 1: Excuses**

_Alice: italic _Bella: regular **Edward: Bold**

_Bella! I thought it would be so fun to pass notes in class!_

But the bell hasn't rung yet Alice

_But it will in 5…4…3…2…_

-The bell rings-

Ha ha! Alice you are an awesomely cool psychic Alice!!

_-polishes nails on front of shirt- I know._

**Bella aren't you used to her visions by now? -raises eyebrow-**

-sniffles- just cause I'm used to it doesn't mean I can't admire the fact. Why are you being so mean about it? -sniffles again-

**I wasn't being mean I was just pointing out tha- **(Bella steals the paper)

No, you're just mean!! Why do you do this to me??

**Bella I- **(Bella steals the page again)

You know Edward, I'm tired of your excuses. I can't stand you when you're like this! We're through!

**WHAT?!?! No Bella, I… I didn't mean to…oh Bella I'm so sorry!**

_Great job Edward, you made her cry, and you can't try and make it up to her cause the bell is gonna ring in about 5 seconds!_

-The bell rings and Edward tries to talk to Bella on the way to lunch.-


	2. Joking!

**A/n sorry but I don't think that I can make the chapters much longer. They take longer to write than they do to type and post and since I have large handwriting and small text on here it seems a lot longer on paper than it does on here. Thanks to gossipalmishi, Quil explodes, and pyromaniac-girl for my first reviews on here. Thanks a lot peeps and keep reading!**  
**-Hails**

**Chapter 2: Joking!**

_Alice: Italic _Bella: regular **Edward: bold**

**Bella, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel bad or to be mean to you! Please forgive me -puppy dog eyes-**

-Cries-

_**Hey does this mean I get a chance with Bella? Sweetie, why don't you come over to my place tonight and I can comfort you.**_

_Wtf?? How did Mike get the paper??_

**I don't know but he's not getting Bella. –growls-**

-Laughs- Edward I can't believe you fell for that!

**Huh? Fell for what?**

-laughs again- I was just joking the whole time! I'm not breaking up with you!

_**Aww man!!**_

Shut up Mike I wouldn't have gone out with you anyways.

_**thhhhhhhp**_

_GO away Mike no one wants you here._

_**Fine I'll just go sit in a dark corner and DIE!!**_

_-cheers-_

Alice you didn't cheer though

_That's why I put the little lines, duh!_

Oh, right. Well the bells is gonna ring

The bell rings

_I thought I was the psychic one! pouts_


	3. name calling

**A/n thanks so much for the reviews everybody!! I'm so glad you all like it !! keep reviewing and I'll keep posting new chapters.**

**Chapter 3: Name Calling**

_Alice: italic _Bella: regular **Edward: Bold**

_Bella!_

Alice!

_Bella!_

**Edward!**

Edward you can't say your own name

_Yea you have to wait for someone else to say your name and then you can say someone else_

**But you guys were just gonna keep saying each others names pouts I just wanted to be included.**

Edward!

**Bella!**

Alice!

_Edward!_

**This is boring**

_Fine we won't include you again. Bella!_

Alice!

_Bella!_

Alice!

_Bella!_

Edward?

**Bella?**

Alice!

**-sighs-**

_High 5 Bella!_

Alice I'm not gonna high 5 you in the middle of class so put your hand down, the teachers looking at us funny.

The Bell Rings

_Darn I missed that one!! _

The Cullens head home


	4. evil plans

**A/n Well here the next chapter folks I hope you like it and so you know I am typing this in pink mittens so it's a slow and painful process but I don't wanna take them off because my hands get really cold when I'm typing so yea. Jus thought that might be interesting for ya. Ok now back to the chapter! I like this one evil grin you will see why. Oh plus Edward's not really in this chapter. Sorry, and please don't hate me.**

**Chapter 4: Evil Plans**

_Alice: italic _Bella: regular **Emmett: bold and underlined.**

Alice, why are we passing notes at home?

_Bella!_

Alice!

_Bella!_

Where's Edward?

_Trying to think of a way to pay you back for pretending to break up with him._

**And he puts down every idea he has because it's 'too horrible for his little Bella'. It's hackin hilarious!**

Emmett!

_Emmett!_

**Bella? Alice?**

Emmett?

_Emmett?_

**You guys scare me sometimes.**

_-grins- we know._

Sometimes???

**-sighs- ok, most of the time.**

_Most of the time???_

**OK ALL THE TIME!!!! SHEESH.**

-grins- that's better.

_I'm gonna go get Jazzy so he can join the convo. Talk amongst yourselves._

**Bella?**

Emmett?

**What's a convo?**

-Giggle- a conversation!

**Oh….**

-gasps- OMG!!! Emmett you know what we should do?!?!?

**No, but knowing you it's gonna be pretty good!**

**A/n ooh a cliffie. Sorry guys but you're gonna have to wait till tomorrow! Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Tee hee!**


	5. plan in action

**A/n Ta da!! It's the chapter you've all been waiting for!!! With an added bonus! I get to eat beef jerky while I'm writing it! Yay!!!!! Now for all of you who review this chapter you must say beef jerky at some point in the review or I shall stop updating!!!!!!! Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!! Jk jk I probably will update but how cool would it be if like everyone said beef jerky?? I swear one of my upcoming chapters will have beef jerky in it at some point. **

**Chapter 5: Plan in Action**

_Alice: Italic Bella_: Regular _**Jasper: bold and italic **_**Emmett****: Bold and underlined**

-whispers- well I was thinking we should make Edward jealous! It would be so funny and I would pay big money to see the look on his face!

**Bella you're a genius!! But one thing. How can you whisper when you're writing it down?**

By putting those little lines on both sides duh. Plus you better be blocking your mind. I don't want Edward seeing my brilliant plan. Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha!

**Oh nice catch that would be bad if he caught on to the pranks. Since when were you an evil genius Bella?**

Pft since I made up that plan. Jeez it's a good thing that I'm the mastermind here or this would never work out. Now let us get ready my evil henchman.

**-grins- whatever you say master. I live only to serve you. Mission M.E.J. is a go.**

M.E.J.?

**Make. Edward. Jealous.**

Right. Let's go then.

Emmett and Bella walk upstairs holding hands and grimacing slightly only moments before Alice walks back into the room with Jasper.

_Hey! Where'd Emmett and Bella go?_

_**I don't know but I'm sense that they're up to no good.**_

Alice has a vision

_-grins- grab the video camera and meet me upstairs. Trust me, this is worth taping._

Alice runs upstairs while Jasper goes to get the Video camera

**(A/n sorry guys but this next part of the story I can't really put in notes so I'm not gonna. Please don't hate me! Bella's POV)**

Emmett and I walked into Edward's room, still holding hands. Edward was sitting on his couch with a notebook and his pen tapping hid chin, a position of deep thought. He was probably plotting his revenge.

"Hey Edward" I called. He looked up and made a funny face when he saw Emmett and me holding hands. I giggled and Emmett hugged me from behind. _Wow, he's a good actor_ I thought.

"I decided that since you're being such a jerk about my little prank back at school, not talking to me and such, that we should actually take a break from this relationship. I will come back to you when your attitude has improved. In the meantime I will be hanging out with Emmett." I smiled up at Emmett then and he smiled back at me.

We looked back at Edward, who had a look of absolute horror on his face. I had to work very hard to suppress the fit of giggles rising up out of my stomach.

Just then, Alice and Jasper came through the door with a video camera, and I couldn't contain myself anymore. I burst out laughing harder than I had ever laughed before, my back doubled over and a really retarded look on my face, like I was about to choke.

My merriment must have influenced Jasper for he couldn't contain himself either. Soon the whole room was in the exact same position as I was, except Edward of course. There was deep fury in his eyes, and that made me laugh harder, which made Jasper laugh harder, which made everyone laugh harder, but Edward still wasn't laughing. I could see humor in his eyes, but I knew that was Jaspers fault, what with his power and all.

Suddenly Edward let out a ferocious snarl and leapt at Emmett, who stopped laughing immediately. "HOW COULD YOU STEAL MY BELLA AWAY FROM ME!?!?!?!" he roared. I was still laughing a little bit, but Edward's reaction had swept most of it away.

Then he leapt back off of Emmett and walked over to me. "And how could you leave me?" he asked softly. I chuckled, but just a little bit. "I'm not leaving you Edward." I replied. "But…you…Emmett…Me…I…….Huh??" And with that I roared with laughter again. "I….it….w…was…another j…j…joke!!!!" I spluttered.

He looked at me, still confused. Jasper calmed me down a bit and I nodded to him in thanks. "It was another joke." I said calmly. His eyes gazed at me, still sad. I wondered why that was, I wasn't really leaving him. "Bella…." He started. "Why do you jeep playing these pranks on me? What have I done to deserve this?"

Oh great. Now he had me feeling guilty. Stupid hypnotizing vampire eyes. I wrapped him in a hug. "I just wanted to have some fun." I sniffled. "I'm sorry." He smiled at me. "I forgive you." He said. Little did I know he had evil plans of his own spinning through his mind…

**A/n oh another cliffie! If you guys are nice and give me a ton of reviews then maybe the next chapter won't be a cliffie… unless you guys like cliffies. Just vote for if you want the next chapter to have a cliffie at the end or if you don't wow am I being to demanding? I mean you gotta say beef jerky at least once and you gotta tell me if you like my cliffies or if you would rather I stopped the cliffies….oh well I'm sure if you guys actually like my stories you will do whatever I want you to. Now review my minions, REVIEW!!!**


	6. more evil plans

**A/n ok thank you all for waiting I'm so sorry I couldn't update all weekend I was at my friends house like the whole time and it was a 3 day weekend for us up here in Minnesota and I went to the haunted ship and we walked around downtown for like 4 hours cuz we were way to early and yea. So here's the next chapter hope you like it please review!!**

**Chapter 6: More Evil Plans**

_Alice: italic _Bella: regular **Edward: Bold ****Emmett: bold and underlined**

**Alice?**

_Edward?_

**Can you keep a secret?**

_Depends. Who from?_

**Emmett**

_The future says…- has a vision- yes!_

**Ok, you can listen in then. Bella?**

Edward?

**You know I would never pull a prank on you right?**

Hmm… Alice?

_-has another vision- No, he wouldn't_

Well of course you wouldn't!

**Ok then, here's my plan…**

Edward whispers in Bella's ear

Alice has yet another vision

_-squeals- this is gonna be so great!_

-squeals too- I know! And I thought I was the evil genius!

**-Grins- nope, it's my turn now!**

_It's my turn now, and I know I am ready!_

It's my turn now yea I'm strong and I'm steady!

**Oh dear, is that the song from jump in on Disney channel?**

Oh dear? Did you say oh dear??

_-continues- it's my time, gonna shine, because it's my turn now!!_

**That's it, I'm going to get the prank ready.**

_You and me goin' fishin' in the dark, lying on out backs and countin the stars where the cool grass gr-_

**Fishin in the dark? Where did that come from?**

_Well maybe I felt like singing it for no reason plus there's this one part in it where it says 'baby getting ready' so thhp!_

**Whatever**

_Its w/e not whatever!_

**W/e my bad**

'_My bad' is so old_

**Well I'm 110 so deal with it.**

Old people can be annoying and interesting at the same time

_Hey!_

**W/e I have to go talk to Emmett**

-waves rapidly, accidentally hits herself in the head and knocks herself out-

_Bella?_

Alice?

_You didn't wave rapidly, hit yourself in the head and knock yourself out though._

Thus the little line thingies

_Oh…I knew that._

Alice and Bella continue with a somewhat uninteresting conversation including lemons, quesadillas and a jackhammer. Meanwhile, there is a totally different note being passed upstairs…

**So here's the plan. I call to Bella, you wait behind the door with a bucket full of honey. When she is in position I'll give you a signal and you throw the honey on her. Then Rosalie will drop feathers all over her from my bedroom window and voila! A chicken named Bella!**

**Sounds good! And I thought Bella was the evil genius!**

**Nope, it's my turn now!**

**It's my turn now and I know I am ready!**

**Emmett! Shut up! Alice is talking to me through her mind! She saw what we're going to do and she wants to drop the feathers. Rose can take a picture or something.**

**Sounds good.**

**I'm going back downstairs. I don't want Bella to get suspicious.**

**Alright see you bro!**

**W/e bye**

**You know that only girls say w/e right?**

**Really? Curse you Alice!!**

**-Laughs-**

Edward stalks back downstairs

**Alice! Why didn't you tell me that only girls say w/e??**

_I never told you that you had to say w/e everywhere._

**Whatever.**

_No no NO!!! you have to say w/e whenever you're with us! Sheesh._

**Fine! w/e. so here's the real plan…**

**A/n cliffie! Sorry with all the evil plotting happening in this story it's hard not to make cliffies!**


	7. another plan in action

**Chapter 7: Another Plan in Action**

_Alice: italic _Bella: regular **Edward: bold**

**Ok so I told Emmett that I would call for you, give him a signal, and then he would throw honey on you. I give him the signal too early, he doesn't hit anyone. Then Jasper throws a bucket of Honey on Emmett from my bedroom window, Alice does the same with feathers, and Rosalie will snap a picture. Got it?**

Yep. So I just come when you call me?

**Yes love, that's all you have to do**

_Sweetness!_

**Ok Bella, get in position. Alice, get 2 buckets of honey and one of feathers. Tell Jasper and Rose to get ready too. I'll go get Emmett.**

They all depart on their various tasks.

**(A/n ok guys, another part that I can't put in notes. Sorry! Right so now everybody's in position…Edwards POV...lights, camera, action!!)**

I stood by the door, with Emmett hiding somewhere behind me. Everything was ready.

"Bella, could you come here please?" I called.

"Coming!" I heard her call back.

Then I saw her striding down the hall, a huge grin plastered on her face. T was a good thing Emmett couldn't see her or she would give us all away.

I gave the signal and 3 things happened simultaneously. 1.) Bella froze in her tracks. 2.) Emmett splattered honey all over the halls, and 3.) More honey drizzled down over Emmett's head.

Emmett just stared disbelievingly down at his sticky hands. I gave another signal and feathers came raining down on his head.

I walked over to him and plopped a red rubber glove on his sticky, feather-covered head.

He glared at me and I backed away right before a flash. Emmett spun around wildly looking for the source of the light.

He halted suddenly when he found it, almost tipping over. I looked over and saw Rosalie, cackling evilly, with a camera in her hands.

Emmett's face had a multitude of emotions flashing across it. Mostly it was just horror and anger though.

"How could you?!" he wailed suddenly, and with that, he ran inside, clutching his head in his hands and pretending to cry.

But this only made us laugh harder. We were rolling around clutching our sides when Esme walked outside.

She scolded us for playing a prank on 'poor' Emmett. Just then Bella glanced at her watch.

"Holy crow!" she exclaimed. "Sorry people! I really have to get home!" and she rushed away to her truck, leaving us to our scolding


	8. imaginary pets

**A/n ok people again I'm sorry I haven't updated, depressed friend blah blah blah blah if you want to hear the whole story on that look at the authors note on chapter 11 on my other story, a Part of Victoria's coven. Anyways, story. I wasn't prepared so I don't have this one down on paper so I will be making it up as I go so let's test my imagination!!**

**Chapter 8: Imaginary Pets**

_Alice: Italic _Bella: regular **Edward; bold **_**Jasper: Italic and Bold **_**Emmett: bold and underlined **_Rosalie: Italic and underlined_

_**I still don't see why you three like to pass notes at home. **_

**Hey! My fiancée forces me into it!**

Yea, you're just so darn agreeable. I have you wrapped around my toe. S'why I'm marrying you.

**That's the only reason?**

Naw, It's cuz I love you and junk too :O)

_Don't you mean wrapped around your finger?_

If I meant wrapped around my finger then I would have said around my finger!

_**You still didn't answer my question.**_

_S'cuz it fun!_

_**I don't see what' so fun about it….**_

OMG!!!!! Alice! Since its Friday, I should way spend the night at your house and we can see how long we can go without talking!

**Oh! And if you talk at all you will have no means of communication with the peoples still in the note passing!**

_**Yea…sure your fiancée is forcing you into it…..**_

**Hey, no means of communication with Emmett could be useful…**

_And if you communicate with the 'out' people at all then you are also disqualified!_

Edward is disqualified.

**WHAT??!! How does that work?**

You have means of communication.

**No I don't!**

Yes you do.

**No I don't!**

Yes you do.

**Well what are they then?**

You can read minds!

_Ooh she's got a point there Edward. And I don't see you participating so she won't back down on that one._

**-Grumbles-**

_**Ummm…I can communicate too! I can control the people's emotions to communicate!**_

_Yes, but you can't use words._

_**Dammit…**_

OK let's go to the Cullen house and start then!!

They run to the Cullens house.

_Jasper Hale don't you dare!!_

Ahem… -taps foot-

_He was going to laugh for no reason so he wouldn't have to participate anymore!_

Jasper Hale don't you dare! That would make me sad and then I would have to sick Debbie on you!

_**Debbie?**_

My imaginary wolverine, Duh.

_**Imaginary wolverine…….suuuure…..**_

_Bellaaa!!! I want an imaginary wolverine!_

Well you can have an imaginary pet…..but the wolverines are mine.

_Fine….Bellaaa!!! I want an imaginary pet!_

Ok you can have…a dingo! Named Eugene!

_Yay!! You rock Bella!_

I know. Jasper you can have…A badger named…Carl…

_**Carl?? **_

Yes, Carl. Oh look, he likes you!

_**Aww….I see him now! He's so cute! I love him!**_

I…am a miracle worker. Now Jasper, you and Carl go get Emmett and Rose. I can give them imaginary pets too, and Edward can get his on Monday.

_**Yes ma'am.**_

_Huh. Who'da thunk it? Just give him an imaginary Badger and he's happy as a clam._

Ooh ooh!! Carlisle can have a clam!

_Can its name be….umm…how 'bout... Marlin?_

Perfect! But we can't tell him yet r'else we're disqualified :O(

_**I'm back oh highness of the imaginary pets.**_

Why thank you loyal servant. Have you brought the new subjects?

_**Indeed I have.**_

_No Fair! He never calls me highness of anything! –Pouts-_

I dub thee the highness of style!

_Shveet!_

_And…what's going on here?_

I must now give you and your Husband an imaginary pet!

**Sweet!**

_Imaginary pet?_

Chyes! I have a wolverine named Debbie, Alice has a Dingo named Eugene, and Jasper has a Badger named Carl. And I will be giving Carlisle his Clam named Marlin on Monday.

**What do I get?!?!**

Emmett….your soul pet is…. A Coyote named…Earl!

**YES!!! I always wanted a Coyote!**

I know. I'm smart that way. Rosalie…you shall have…a Tiger named…Freddy!

_Aww I love Tigers! Freddy is such a cute name!! where is he?_

Where ever you say she is. Debbie Could be at my house, she could be right next to me, or she could be gnawing your leg off. Where ever I say she is, she is there.

_So what is Edward gonna get?_

Omg I can't believe I forgot!! Everyone block your minds!!

_Pssh, why?_

Because I don't want him to know yet and he's prolly reading your minds his very second!

_Fine. But only cuz you gave me an awesome tiger :3_

Ok anyways I'll give Edward a fox named…..Lilly.

**Awwwww that's such a cute name!!**

_But what about Esme?_

Ummm…how bout a crab named…..Timmy?

_Sounds good!_

**K I think that's enough for one chapter don't you?**


	9. ilyaj

**A/n Yay new story! Hey and I have sort of a favory request type thinger. I was wonderin….if you could maybe…give me your left hand…for school?... pleeeeease?!?!!? Jk jk random. I know. Anyways here's the real request. I would really appreciate it if you would check out my story 'My new beginning'. I have 5 chapters and only 10 reviews. So if you go and read it just give me a review saying 'I was reading notes with Bella and the Cullens and it said to check this out so I did' or something like that. Cuz if you do…….then you get a hug!!! Yayyyyy! Funn. I love hugs. Ok hugs for everybody, and if you review the other one then you get a hug and a high 5 ok? You might even like it. I hope so. Ok now on with the show….story…thinger…..!**

**Chapter 9: Ilyaj**

_Alice _Bella **Edward ****Emmett **_Rosalie __**Jasper**_

One of these days we should go to the zoo.

**Yeah! Then we can see the lions!**

_And tigers!_

**And bears!**

_Oh my…_

Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo! Yay little flutie thingy!'

**Bella?**

Eddie poo?

**First of all don't call me Eddie poo unless you wanna be called Bellie poo. Second of all what's with the 'doo's and the 'flutie thingy'?**

First of all I think Eddie poo and Bellie poo are very cute nicknames and second of all you guys said 'lions and tigers and bears oh my' and I immediately thought of the wizard of oz and when they say that there's a little flutie thingy doing 'doo doo doo doo doo doo doo'!!

_Yea Eddie poo haven't you ever seen the gizzard of oz?_

**No Allie Poo I haven't seen it plus I think it's Wizard of oz not Gizzard.**

**-Whimpers-**

What's up with you Emmie poo?

**The….the flying monkeys….**

_He's afraid of the flying monkeys!!!_

**-Shudders-**

Emmie poo they're not even real.

**But…but they scawy!!**

**Scawy?**

**Yea, scawy!**

Poor Emmie poo. –Hugs-

**-Coughs-I'm afraid of flying monkeys too!**

_No you're not._

**Yuh huh!**

Poor Eddie poo. –Hugs-

**Yay! I'm not afraid anymore!**

I like fruit.

_Yay randomness in the form of fruit!_

**Yay for fruit tasting like ucky pooey stuff!**

Go choke on a grape dear Emmie poo!

**I remember fruit…it was all juicy and stuff……yum.**

_Edward…you don't like fruit. We can't eat it._

**Sez you!**

Yea Allie poo, technically you can eat it you just don't like it.

_-Pouts- fine, gang up on the cute space compatible one._

Oh I'm sorry space compatible friend! –Hugs-

**I'm space compatible…**

-Examines Eddie poo- no you're not.

**Yuh huh. **

Well…you're not all cute and space compatible.

**You…you don't think I'm cute?**

Pssh. No.

**That makes me sad :'(**

Of course you're not cute. You're all godlyish and junk.

:O)

**Well I'm all godlyish and junk too :'(**

Cha but not in the same way as Eddie poo.

_I feel discluded._

NO!!!!! We're all doomed!!!!!

…

…

…

No one's sposed to feel discluded….note passing is fun for all ages….even 110… :'(

_Bella don't cry…..It's my fault…I wasn't talking._

_BELLIE POO DON'T CRY!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE ROSIE POO??!?!?_

_Pssh not my fault._

Eddie poo… :'(

**Yes Bellie poo?**

I love you and junk…

**I love you and junk too.**

:O) :O) :O) :O) :O)

**Why does that deserve…1 2 3 4….5 smileys?**

:O) cuz you're all godlyish and junk.

**Soooooo…..?**

And I'm all like not godlyish and junk

**Rosie poo?**

_Emmie poo?_

**I love you and junk.**

_Pssh who wouldn't?_

**-cries-now you hurt my feelings**

_Way to go Rosie poo. Two people crying in less than two minutes. Is that a new record?_

_Emmie poo?_

**-Sniffs- Rosie poo?**

_Number 1 you can't really cry…_

**Yea but I'm coti**

_Coti?_

**Crying on the inside :'(**

_You didn't give me a chance to say number 2 though…_

**Do I even want to know?**

_Yes…._

**Ok…**

_I love you and junk._

**WOOT WOOT!!! GO ME!!!**

_I want Jazzy here….I want to love someone and junk too…:O(_

_**I love you and junk**_

_yay!!! I love you and junk too!!_

Eddie poo?

**Bellie poo?**

Ilyaj

_Jazzy poo?_

_**Allie poo?**_

_Ilyaj_

_Emmie poo?_

**Ooh ooh lemme guess. Ilyaj?**

_Ilyaj too._

**Bellie poo?**

Yes Eddie poo?

**What does ilyaj mean?**

I love you and junk!

**Ohh….ilyaj too.**

**A/n ilyaaj!! (I love you all and junk) you are so great! (blows kisses) mwah! Keep reading!**


	10. cherries and oranges

**A/n alright people. I finally got inspiration for a chapter. I actually got this in a convo with my Friend Maria on A.I.M. so yea. I might put the whole convo on an authors note next. Maybe. It was sorta funny. Anyways here's the chappy!!**

**Chapter 10: Cherries and Oranges**

_Alice _Bella

Hey Ali poo?

_Bellie poo?_

We need to think of a random subject to talk about cuz I'm oober bored.

_Ummm….._

Pickles?...pickles…dominating the world!!

_OMG I don't like pickles._

You don't like any human food.

_Well…pickles are scary. They smell all sour and they're all green and bumpy and they're soaked in evil._

Ok…what do you like then?

_Lol_

Bananas?

_CHERRIES!_

Yes!!

_They shall dominate…_

Cherries and oranges dominating the world with…mini bazookas! Ha ha ha! On Christmas day!! No no new years!

_No no on St. Patricks day!_

No it should be new years cuz then they can count how many years they have been in control! And it would be in like exact years and days and junk!

_Oh good point…_

Yea…so in December the cherries and the oranges will be taking over the minds of young children with their hypnotizing commercials…and then…

_The children will be begging their parents for oranges and cherries…and then…_

The cherry and orange companies will rise…and then…

_BAM!!! Instant world domination!_

Ok, you got all that? We must remember it all cuz at the end of this note I shall eat it to destroy the evidence.

_YES MA'AM!_

And their loyal servants shall be…the wolverines!! And the dingos!!!

_HECK YEAH!_

And the dingos eat the babies of the people who refuse to bow to the oranges and the cherries!! Mwa ha hahahahahahahaha!!

_Hahahahahahahahahaha!_

Hee hee

_Heh heh_

Tee hee hoo ha

_:OD_

Lolz

_ACTUPUNCTURE!_

YES!! And decapitation!!!

_ASSASSINAATION!_

DECAPITATION IN BIG LETTERS CUZ I DIDN'T DO THAT THE LAST TIME I SAID DECAPITATION!

_WOOT!_

YAY FOR BIG LETTERS! AND THE CAPS LOCK BUTTON THAT ALLOWS US TO DO IT ON COMPUTERS!!

_YAYAYAYAYAY!_

THEY SHALL HELP THE WOLVERINES AND DINGOS AND CHERRIES AND ORANGES RULE THE WORLD!

_How?_

BY PUTTING EXTRA EMPHASIS ON THE WORDS IN THE HYPNOTISING COMMERCIALS!! YAY!!

_YES!_

YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!

_WOOT!_

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!!!

_WHAT?_

THE LOBSTERS WILL RULE THE WORLD TOO!! SEE? THEIR ARMIES ARE ALREADY FORMING!!

_AND THE DINGLEHOPPERS!_

But…what dinglehoppers? At this rate there won't even be any domination cuz we're giving the rule to too many things!

_No but we have to have the dinglehoppers!_

Cherries and oranges and wolverines and dingos and lobsters and the caps lock button.

_AND THE DINGLEHOPPERS!_

Ummm….we can have the dinglehoppers if we add….spoons. then there wil be 8 rulers in the world.

_Lets just add the sporks!_

No spoons

_No sporks_

How bout spoons and forks and sporks? Then there are 10 rulers.

_Or we could screw the spoons and form and just have sporks._

Or we could screw the sporks and just have the spoons and forks and replace the sporks with knives. Ha!

_Nah sporks are way better._

We could have sporks…and spoons and forks!!

_OMG FORKS!!! Like the town we live in lol._

Omg it is!! But I said forks before sheesh. But anyways we will have those 3 utensils.

_What about the knives?_

Oh yea…I feel bad about leaving out the knives…they're so pointy and sharp and junk…

_Yea…_

OMG!!! The knives can be the highlord!!

_Highlord?_

Yea! They can be the secret rulers no one knows about!!

_WOOT!!_

Anad they give orders to the cherries and oranges blah blah blah etc.!

_OF COURSE!!_

AND THE KNIVESDON'T WANT ANYONE TO KNOW THAT THEY'RE ACTUALLY IN CHARGE CUZ THEN PEOPLES WOULD BE SCARED CUZ KNIVES ARE SO SHARP AND POINTY AND USED TO KILL PEOPLE AND JUNK!!!

_AND THEY THREATENED THE CHERRIES AND ORANGES AND ETC. SO THEY COULD BE IN CHARGE INSTEAD!!_

WE'RE BRILLIANT!!

_OMG WE SHOULD GO AND FIND SOME ORANGES AND CHERRIES AND LOBSTERS AND FORKS AND KNIVES AND SPORKS AND SPOONS AND WE COULD TEAR THE CAPS LOCK BUTTON OFF JASPERS LAPTOP AND WE COULD HAVE DEBBIE AND EUGENE SIT IN FRONT OF US AND WE CAN PRACTICE BOWING DOWN TO THEM!!_

CHYEA!! LETS GO!!

Alice and Bella go and get all the things listed above and start bowing down to them when Edward and Jasper walk in look at them, decide they don't even want to know, and walk away

**A/n weeeeellll??? How was it? Do you think me and Maria are retards who talk about inanimate objects taking over the world? Should we have added a toaster? Review!!**


	11. EdBurger

**A/n Alright next chappy! Part of this is based on something I said at dinner one night and the other is something that popped into my mind that was soo funny retardedly funny I couldn't even stand it!**

**Chapter 11: Edburger**

_Alice _Bella **Edward**

**Bella! I made you a burger. You humans eat those, right?**

Of course! They are like lusciously nummy! I didn't know my fiancée was a cook! And when he can't even eat either!

_It looks sorta funny though…_

Well all human food looks funny to you.

_Well it smells funny too._

Once again…

**Stop looking for reasons to insult my cooking!**

Yeah! Hey where is said burger anyways?

**Right here! –Whips plate out from behind his back with said burger on it-**

Ummm…why is there a fish on it?

**Well you like fish don't you?**

Well yea but…OH MY GOD IS THAT A POTATO?

**You said you liked potatoes!**

Edward you don't just put random foods on a burger I'm sorry!

_Yea Edward don't you know anything? Jeez you're so primitive you don't even know how to make a burger!_

Hey if Edward is primitive wouldn't Ed be a more suitable name?

_Yeah I think we should call him Ed from now on._

**Fine. I'll just call you Al from now on.**

Ha ha Al and Ed!

_Hey!_

**Anyways I doubt you could make a better burger anyways Al!**

_Yeah? You're on! –Whips out her own plate with another said burger on it- I foresaw this happening and made my own! Inspect it Bella!_

Hmm…well I don't see any fish or potatoes…

**-pouts-**

Hush there might still be something wrong with it don't be so quick to judge jeez Ed

**Smiley face at the first part and frowny at that last part…**

Well Al I don't really like tomatoes…but other then that it looks ok.

_So pick off the tomato and try it!!! –bounces-_

-picks off tomatoes, looks around suspiciously and takes a bite…- YUCK!!

_What? What did I do?_

It's all burntyish!! Lookit! –lifts up bun and shows you the meat patty thinger-

_-sniffs- well how am I supposed to know when the nasty thing is done?!_

**Ha ha!**

Ed don't tease not only is it childish and rude but yours was just as bad.

_Ha ha!_

Al? do I have to repeat myself?

_No Mrs. Swan._

Hee hee. Now let me show you how a burger is REALLY made!! –Whips out super shiny spatula of sparkly sweetness-

_Ching! Sparkle sparkle! I love the super shiny spatula of sparkly sweetness!!_

**I must admit it is pretty shiny and sparkly.**

Why thank you my dear Ed and Al! I shall now go and make…a BURGER!!!

-Al and Ed pay close attention as Bella turns on the grill outside and makes herself a burger-

**So if you like fish and potatoes…but you don't put them on there…then what DO you put on there?**

Watch and learn Eddie boy!

_How come Ed gets so many names? He's got Edward and Ed and Eddie poo and Eddie boy…all I've got is Alice and Al and Allie poo. He's got one more then me!!_

Ummm…Allie girl?

_Nah that sounds corny._

**Allie…Allie…..Allie sparkle!!**

_Wow Ed. I'm surprised at you._

**What?!**

_Only a boy could come up with such a strange name._

**Oh…well thank you!**

ALLIE PUFF!!!!!

**What?**

_Omg I love it!!_

**What did I miss? Who are you people?! I'M CONFUZZLED!!! –looks around wildly while sucking thumb-**

Well Eddie boy first of all you know who we are and second you don't drink water so you don't have the proper means to make the chemical reactions that form saliva so therefore you can't actually suck your thumb properly.

_Yay! Bellie sounded all scientifical :O)_

Yea s'cuz I acshully have to pay attention in science class! Unlike SOME 110 year olds!

**You still didn't answer my question –pout-**

What question?

**What do you put on a burger?**

OH! Ok watch closely you two… so first you apply the cheese, then the ketchup, then mustard, then the pickles, then you carefully tuck the pickles in to bed with a piece of lettuce. Goodnight little pickles! –chomps off part of the burger and rips off the little pickle heads- mmmm! Pickle pickle pickley fun!

_I still say that pickles are scary cuz they smell sour and are green and bumpy and soaked in evil._

Sez you. :OP

**Ok…..I'm just gonna go now…-backs toward the door slowly…-**

Ok bye Ed!

**Well? Was it crappy? I read it out loud to my mom and she seemed a bit scared…… yea the pickley fun I said at dinner when we were having dinner and I thought Ed was so funny I think I just about died when I first thought of it. I wonder why no one else has called him Ed in a story? Huh. Oh well. Review and tell me if this was crappy!!**


	12. funny letters & depressing songs

**A/n Ok so sorry it's been so long but I was having a reviewing problem with my story 'My New Beginning' and there's this boy who's been planning on asking me out most of the week and he finally got the guts to do it today so that's good. Lol.**

**Chapter 12: Funny Letters and Depressing Songs**

_Alice _Bella **Edward ****Emmett**

:O(

**Bella, Love, what's wrong?**

Oh nothing I've just been to depressing songs and now I'm sad :O(

**Like what?**

_Like bloody valentine by good charlotte_

**Oh. That sounds harsh. What's it about?**

_A guy killing another guy so he can get the girl. One line says it all: I ripped out, his throat and called you on the telephone._

**Oh….Bella you should stop listening to that.**

Ok, I'll just listen to Valentines Day by Linkin Park instead.

**Oh dear. What's the key line in this one?**

And the ground below grew colder, as they put you down inside.

**Oh god. How many depressing songs do you have?!**

Oh not many, but some of them can be depressing if you look at them right.

**Such as?**

_Somehow she finds Breaking the Habit by Linkin Park sad._

Well if you look at it right it sounds like he's either cutting himself or about to commit suicide and that's pretty sad.

**Bella, do you have any other songs that are really depressing.**

Yeah.

**-Waits…- what ones?**

Cassie by flyleaf

**Well that doesn't sound so bad…**

_That's what you think…_

**Oh dear…**

_It says: do you believe in god, written on a bullet, say yes to pull the trigger. Do you believe in god, written on a bullet, and Cassie pulled the trigger. And then it talks about her funeral._

**Any others?**

_Yea she has one. Easier to run by Linkin park_

It's easier to run, replacing this pain with something numb, it's so much easier to go, than face all this pain here all alone :O(

**Do you think you could listen to happy music instead?**

Sure. Happy birthday to you….happy birthday to you…happy birthday dear Ed….

**Bella it's not my birthday.**

_She finds 'Happy Birthday' is considered a happy song._

**I know something happy she can listen to!!**

**Like what?**

**I love you, you love me, we're a happy family, with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you-**

_NO! I will not allow my sfarcawbffeae to listen to the Barney song!_

**Uh….sfarcawbffeae?**

_Superly fantabulistic and really cool awesomely weird best friend for ever and ever._

**Oooooooooh!!**

Aw you're my sfarcawbffeae too!

**Bella…you're tlomve…**

Ooh can I guess what it means??!

**Uh…I guess…**

Alice?

_-whispers in Bella's ear-_

It means the love of my very existence!

**No fair! You cheated!**

**Dude I want a cool letter thingy!**

Aw poor Emmie poo. You can be my rfatcs-kit!

**Yay! What does that mean?**

Really funny and totally clueless side-kick in training!

**Woot!**

_Bella! I wanna be a side-kick too! Actually I wanna be your co-captain!_

Alright. You can be my raatsc-cit!

**Ooh I get to guess this one! Its….hmm…really awesome and totally….hmmm….stinky? no vampires don't stink….uh…..stylish? yea really awesome and totally stylish co-captain in training?**

Ding ding ding! You got it right! Yay!

_Woot!_

To the evil lair my raatsc-cit and rfatcs-kit! Oh and you can come too lomve!

**Uh…we have an evil lair?**

_Duh! The basement?_

**Since when is the basement an evil lair?**

_Um about 5 seconds ago! Dur._

**Just go with it Ed. It sounds cool.**

**Whatever.**

_-ahem-_

**w/e sorry jeez.**

_Thank you._

**A/n ok I really hate this chapter it really sucky but it's pretty good considering it's off the top of my head and I'm listening to awesome songs that I try to sing along to while typing (try that it's hard but I'm getting better at it lol.) and I kept thinking about Zac….(my new bf.) so yeah. Sorry if it sucks!**


	13. randomness and funny noises

**A/n hello my peeps. Sorry I haven't updated in like forever, but I tend to post chapters on here around the same time as my other story and I'm having review troubles so I don't update often cuz no one reviews so yeah. Blame my readers. JUST KIDDING just kidding. It's not your fault, I love you all! Ok I must give some of the credit of this chapter to my buddy Tayler, as she helped me write it. So COMMENCE WITH THE RETARDED GIGGLES!! HUZZAH!**

**Chapter 13**

_Alice _Bella **Edward**

Alice, what's the first word that pops into your head?

_Banana phone_

Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring…

_BANANA PHONE! Boop boop be doo be doop. Ha! I remember when Edward used to run around the house in a cape singing that into his hairbrush._

OMG! Talk about a manly man lolz. Men men men men menly men, woo hoo hoooooo hooooo….ahahhhhhhh!! I love that theme song!

_Omg it totally rox my sox! Lolololol has he ever told you about the Christmas tree incident of 1981?_

Do I even want to know?

_Hmm… it involves a sea turtle, a chainsaw, a 60 foot pine tree, and a clown car. Do you want to know?_

…….not really.

_I don't think he'd want me telling you anyways….so what's the first word that pops into YOUR mind?_

Corn.

_I think I used to like corn…I like korn!_

I like ice better.

_Vanilla ice?_

Chyes!

_2 pac…_

……tape

_OMG SCOTCH TAPE IS LIKE THE BEST INVENTION EVER!!!_

YUH UH!! Duct tape is better. Duct tape can fix anything!

_Pfft._

Do I smell like cappuccino?

_No…you smell like…a bouquet of flowers in a rainbow…a skittles rainbow!_

OMG! Shoes.

_But…. But you don't like shoe shopping –tear tear- not with me anyways. –Sniffle sniffle-_

-sarcasm- yeah, that's cuz I prefer wearing ragged and torn clothed like some street rat…riffraff, street rat, I don't buy that, if only they'd look closer..

_WOULD THEY SEE A POOR BOY?! No siree… they'd find there's so much more to meeeee! Chya Aladdin rox!_

OH CHYES!!! WOOT!

_Bellie poo?_

Ali poo?

_Wellllllll…you know your birthday's coming up…_

It is? OH! Yeah…..it is…..DON'T YOU DARE ALICE CULLEN!!

_But Bella! I already got the balloons and the streamers and…_

NO! NO WAY! NUH UH!

_But Bella! They're already shipping the elephants!_

…you got me elephants?

_Uhhhh…no… GAWSH YOUR FEET ARE TOUCHING ME!_

NO YOU'RE TOUCHING MY FEET!

_AAG MOVE YOUR FEET OR ELSE!_

Or what? You'll pull your mad vampire ninja moves on me? Edward would kill you…again.

_Wellllllllll...WEEELL….I'll order giraffes and invite the whole school to your party!_

…………….

_Okay that was a bluff…kind of…I already did those things…MOVE YOUR FEET!_

They were never toughing you gol.

**Alice leaves in a huff**

**Edward grabs the paper**

**Bellie poo?**

Yes dearest Eddie poo?

**We're going to order you a pizza. What kind do you want?**

Pch! Hawaiian!! All the way man!

**Alright. What's on a Hawaiian pizza anyway?**

Pineapple and Canadian bacon.

**Why is there CANADIAN bacon on a HAWAIIAN pizza?**

Cuz…the people in Canadia…come from Hawaii?

**Canadia? I thought it was Canada eh?**

Wth is with the "Eh?" plus you believe it's Canada cuz you gots no imagination.

**Psh! I have plenty of imagination! One time I slapped Emmett with a fish! How is that not imaginative?**

Edward….that's a really old one…

**Hello? 110 years old?**

Well you didn't come up with the whole fish slap thing…

**How do you know?**

I know many things Edward, and that is just one of them.

**I bet you couldn't come up with anything that random!**

You mean like an evil sheep trying to eat a dragon/lizard/monkey alive?

**Or how bout a mutated guinea pig giving birth to a peanut?**

Well my rabbit eats skittles and when he poops it's rainbow colored!

**You don't have a rabbit though…**

Well who's fault is that?

**Uh…yours?**

No it's your fault! Of all the cars and jewelry and fancy sparkly crap you try and buy me you never once asked if I wanted a rabbit! It made me feel as though you didn't care…. -sniffle-

_Pop rocks!_

**Frog demons!**

Frinklesnorp!

**Frinklesnorp?**

s' the noise an imaginary wolverine (such as Debbie) makes when it tries to lick their elbows.

_Sweet! I wanna frinklesnorp!_

You can't frinklesnorp, but you can hopbangle!

**Oh god…**

**Edward walks away as Bella and Alice make funny noises while trying to lick their elbows.**


	14. Aliens

**A/n alright, this is a conversation between my friend Moriah and I on msn messenger in Fanfiction form. Sorry it took me so long to update, I have review issues on my other story, which effects my updating here (if you want me to update sooner, you should read the story My new beginning and review on it! Then I'll update there more often and thus update here more often!) you better review so we don't have the same issues here!**

**-Hailstorm**

**Chapter 14**

Bella says:

Hey Al

Alice says:

Greetings.

Bella says:

Greetings earth scum.

Alice says:

How Barbaric, You to think I was from EARTH! This place is repulsive.

Bella says:

I agree. Let us escape from this putrid planet!

Alice says:

We shall indeed! And we must take my sister with us! (A.k.a. Rose)

Bella says:

Yes!

Alice says:

Who is your earthen sister?

Bella says:

Umm...alas, I do not have a sister...but I do have a pet that I cannot leave stranded here! (A.k.a. Emmett)

Alice says:

ROFLMAO!

Bella says:

My brethren! We shall not speak in earthen teenage abbreviations! It's humiliating

Alice says:

I had no idea of another way to express my rolling on floor laughing my ass offness!

Bella says:

Alas, we space creatures have no asses.

Alice says:

………..

Bella says:

I apologize, apparently you didn't know

Alice says:

This is quite a disappointment

Bella says:

Yes, I know. I have frequently wished I had an ass to laugh off when I roll on the floor laughing...

Alice says:

Ah yes, Indeed. But WE Aliens have Arrgles.

Bella says:

Yes, Arrgles are so much better than filthy human asses...but how do we plan to get off this vile planet when we have no means of transportation?

Alice says:

I am currently desperately sending out a signal for help... we shall escape after my chocolate chip cookies are done.

Bella says:

But...aliens cannot eat earth food...unless you have primitized your digestive tract to match those of the humans, which I thought impossible

Alice says:

Ha! You underestimate me! I have found the one food we can consume without pain here in earth- COOKIES!

Bella says:

What about cupcakes? I have come to enjoy the sweet aroma of them...but alas I have not dared eat them for fear of my stomach imploding

Alice says:

Hmmmm...If I detoxifinated them with a small amount of the chemical Byoxiflann, I may be able to make them fit for consumption...

Bella says:

Yes! That would be perfection! For my earth mother has plans to make cupcakes soon, and I do not want to seem strange to her by refusing to eat them. Also, I am consuming a cookie right now, and it is indeed very delectable

Alice says:

I will telepathically send you the chemical.

Alice says:

BZZZZZZZSSHSHHHT!

Alice says:

Did you receive it?

Bella says:

Yes! I have it right now. Once the cupcakes are done I shall sneak some into mine and eat it! Eat it like no alien has eaten before! Hwahahahahahahahaahahaha!!!

Alice says:

Indeed!

Bella says:

Would you like me to sneak you one of the cupcakes? I certainly could if you wanted me to. I could hide it in my himpho pouch.

Alice says:

Does your himpho pouch accept Thimphala transmissions? I've upgraded to platinum.

Bella says:

Why yes, yes it does

Alice says:

Very well, send me a vanilla when they are complete.

Bella says:

OH MY LANTER!

Alice says:

What????

Bella says:

I am receiving a phone call from someone named "unknown name" and their number is unknown!

Alice says:

IT IS A SHARMEE! DO NOT ANSWER IT! YOU COULD DIE!

Bella says:

It is alright, the Sharmee has hung up. I did not answer it

Alice says:

Good. It was obviously one of the enemy recruits.

Bella says:

Yes, planet Ziggan is safe for now

Alice says:

They could have dismembered you.

Bella says:

My thoughts exactly. That is why I consulted you instead of answering. I wonder if planet snarkle is planning on invading again…

Alice says:

That would be deadly! Our ammunition Tower is still suffering from depleted supplies after the last attack!

Bella says:

Oh my Lanter! I think the Sharmees have invaded my computer, for it no longer says you are online!

Alice says:

Truly catastrophic

Bella says:

What am I to do?!

Alice says:

Never fear, I have made it so it appears I am offline so the invertebrate Jasper will not pester me. He told me he was going to go shoot himself

Bella says:

That isn't good. Jasper is a fair warrior, even though he does have a tendency to overreact sometimes...

Alice says:

Yes, then I got mad because he is obviously searching for pity. He is a warrior; he should not try and get people to feel sorry for him!

Bella says:

I attempted to add Jasper to my friends list except it doesn't say he is online for mine... did he make himself invisible also?

Alice says:

I do not know

Bella says:

For he is invisible to my eyes

Alice says:

I was chatting with him and he said fine I'll go shoot myself then and it said Jasper has signed out

Bella says:

He is a horrible liar then. Maybe we should strip him of his rank once we return to Ziggan

Alice says:

Perhaps

Bella says:

I mean, a noble warrior should not search for pity and then threaten to kill himself when everyone knows he is lying

You have just sent a nudge.

Bella says:

HURRAH! What fun!

You may not send a nudge that often.

Bella says:

Aww…. what is this nudge?

You have just sent a nudge.

Bella says:

HURRAH!

Alice says:

Thank you, now enough flattery

Bella says:

Flattery? When did I flatter you?

Alice just sent you a nudge.

You have just sent a nudge.

Bella says:

Are those nudges not wondrous?

You have just sent a nudge.

Alice says:

Why, buzzing a fellow alien is flattery of course!

Bella says:

Oh yes! Forgive me, for I had forgotten

Alice says:

Indeed, you are forgiven

Bella says:

Indeed...

Alice says:

Hey, this Earth music doesn't Snarrgley!

Bella says:

Yes, human music is quite primitive. I miss the great beeps and buzzes of planet Ziggan

Alice says:

Indeed, I must agree

Bella says:

Yes, you must, or I might think you are enjoying it here on this slowly rotting asteroid of a planet

Alice says:

NEVER!

Bella says:

That is good. Otherwise, I might have had to report you to the great Oz.

Alice says:

There shall be no need for that

Bella says:

I just got a call from the intergalactic travel agency! Are the cookies done? For I fear if they are not and you attempt to stay behind when we are picked up, they will leave without you!

Alice says:

No the cookies are not done, but indeed I shall leave with you, for I miss Ziggan so dearly. Ah, I must switch to my earthen laptop. One moment.

Bella says:

Indeed. Is the invertebrate Jasper still online?

Alice says:

I have no idea, brethren

Bella says:

Hurrah! I have a new email message from human scum Edward Cullen!

Alice says:

Ah, He is a good pet

Bella says:

yes. Shall we save him from the destruction of earth also?

Alice says:

Mayhaps, we must test him to see if he is worthy.

Bella says:

Yes. Which test shall we put him through? Perhaps jumping through the blades of the horrid fire scissors...

Alice says:

I greatly enjoy that one.

Bella says:

As do I, but he may be a bit too...breakable...for that particular test. Mayhaps a simpler one that even a mere human could pass?

Alice says:

Hmmmm...

Bella says:

Well, the easiest one would probably be the knitting of the ceremonial sweater... shall we tutor him in the art of knitting?

Alice says:

That would be sufficient, though not nearly as exciting to watch.

Bella says:

Yes. And knitting takes quite some time for humans...maybe we should even shorten it down to a coaster instead?

Alice says:

I suppose

Bella says:

Then let us ell him the wondrous news!

Alice says:

Hurrah!

**Bella and Alice run off to tell Edward that he has to learn how to knit.**

**So how was it? Are Moriah and I good Aliens or what?**


	15. What?

**A/n I know what you're thinking… WHAT THE HELL, SHE UPDATED THIS AGAIN? No, it's not going to be come a regular thing… I was just really bored, and I had these conversations with a couple friends of mine (there are two separate conversations here, but they were both too short so I melded them together.) But yeah… I have one other chapter I'm gonna post, then there's a good chance I'll go back into hibernation… However, if you go to quizilla and happen to find a user there called Swagcat, that's me, I have one original story on there (so far) So check it out if you'd like. It's called "You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. An arranged marriage to a werewolf prince." Anyway, thanks for checking in!**

So… you're teaming up with the mukluks and uprising against the volcanologists, huh?

_Only if you think the snuffuluffagus is involved._

Darn it all! The jubjubs will be disappointed…

_And the mole people will rejoice._

But the orange pop tarts will be nasty.

_When aren't they?_

When the door's ajar.

_Ah yes, only then can the grandmasters key be acquired. _

And only if the wolverines make a truce with the llamas

_Are you crazy? The llamas will never agree to that, they're mad!_

In that case we must be cautious, for the cereal strikes at midnight…

_But only if the moon is full and the dogs run a congo line._

And the cats sing with the umbrella birds. It'll be difficult for them to carry a tune, but oh well.

… _I like Batman on my toast._

Really? I'm rather fond of batman. He tastes kind of like mangos.

_And piñatas. _

But not cotton candy

_It's too sweet._

Would you like to ride on dolphins to the bottom of a volcano so the bananas can eat ninjas while we steal all of China's fish?

_Silly gravity, bunnies aren't really made of orange juice, but the blueberry milk is drunk again so I guess it's just peachy._

Oh, I suppose you're right there. But the Braille on the ceiling is telling me cucumber.

_Not if the lamb's shirt bounced in the coffee spout on the third Friday of tomorrow…_

But you forgot about the dinosaurs with the pink shaped feet. They like spam too.

_But the liger in the closet needs some jello. _

Well, just because the fax machine doesn't like tomatoes doesn't mean you have to get snippy.

_But mom, I only wanted one shade of yellow in my mash potato farm._

Don't go and brush your teeth with a porcupine over it.

**Edward walks into the room, sees the paper, shakes his head, and promptly exits, not even bothering to ask.**


	16. Randomnessity contest

Bella, **Emmett (I know that usually Edward is the plain bold font… oh well! Eddy's not in this one)**

Score, I have Chinese food!

**No fair, give me some!**

No way, you didn't bring me any when you had it the other day, and you can't even eat it!

**Yeah I tried but I got chased by wolves on the way to your house and I threw it to them so I could get away**

Why didn't you just run faster?

**Because I was surrounded and I had to fight them off with my bare hands.**

And you couldn't even beat them? Hah jk. Have any sweet scars from said wolf fight?

**Yes I do. I have a scratch on my leg that looks like its from a cat, but trust me its from a wolf**

Well I, on the other hand, have a tiger scar. It looks kind of like its from a filing cabinet, but it was definitely a tiger.

**Oh yeah? Well I have a scar from when I fought a bunch of dinosaurs.**

Well I was the only survivor in a horrific and tragic bumper car accident.

**Oh really? Well I landed an airplane that had lost both its wings and was full of screaming preschoolers.**

Well I saved a train of pregnant women that was careening out of control the superman way.

**Oh wow… that's almost as cool as when I picked up that whale who tried to eat the president and threw him into a volcano.**

You forgot about the time I was attacked by thousands of jedi ninja pirates and beat them all off with a carrot.

**Haha oh man that one made me laugh**

Yeah I do that sometimes. Oh, and I WIN! Haha *points and laughs*

**Yeah you win this round**

Of course I do. And ill verbally attack you again when you least expect it ^^

**I will be ready to counter attack with something even better :P**

In your dreams. You could never defeat me.

**Oh I will, mark my words**

No, I don't think you will. Cuz you love me too much to want to break my spirit by beating me –innocent eyes- and I'm lord of all randomness and stuff too….

**This is true…**

Yay! so we can just assume that ill always win lol. You're still free to attempt.

**Haha ok, but don't think you won too soon and start celebrating. That's when bad stuff happens :P**

Pssh ill celebrate whenever I want to. Imma party it up.

**A/n yes, I realize this was really short… but I thought it was funny, so… here's that other chapter I was talking about! Now back to hibernation! Zzzzzzzz…**


End file.
